Chapter 4, intoxicated by the blossoms, breaking the spring sorrow

This issue is clearly worth pondering, but I dare not think further, afraid that the answer hidden in the depths will be unacceptable to me. In my consciousness, only that indifferent and eloquent Shang Baiwen is the real Shang Baiwen.

Xi'er, Father is here. Before I could react, the Emperor arrived at the Hanqiu Palace with the Empress. He saw Princess Chengmin weakly leaning on my shoulder and immediately frowned. He quickly approached, picked up Princess Chengmin, and gently stroked her back, trying to make her more comfortable.

I guess the queen might be a person without friends, underestimating the affection between me and Yue'er. Compared with the other people in this deep palace, the queen seems to be a woman without intelligence, seemingly acting on impulse, always doing some ridiculous things in anger.

In the past, the business inquiries were like the eternal snow on the Xiling Mountain, unfamiliar and indifferent. At this moment, he seems to be a different person. Why do I feel uncomfortable with his closeness and gentleness?

This year, it was originally not necessary for Yue'er to go, but Princess Chengmin insisted on accompanying her father. After some discussion, it was decided that I would take her along as an attendant.

Perhaps fearing that I would not believe her, Xi Er stretched out her two chubby little hands and struggled to lift the carriage curtain, pointing to the merchant Bai Wen who was riding forward: "Aunt, see, I didn't lie to you!"

The queen and the emperor are of the same age, both in their early thirties, and it is uncertain when they will learn to carry out tasks without drawing attention to themselves

Indeed, is not the one we love more important than life itself? Although I do not hold the emperor in high regard, for many years, Yue'er has cherished him, and he is Yue'er's very life.

As the emperor and the father-son merchants were going to discuss military and political affairs, in order to avoid suspicion, I and Yue'er went to Xinaoge first.

Your Majesty, you will be too busy in the future to handle everything. It's time to give up on business. Shang Baiwen obviously didn't want to waste time on this issue and started to care about my career. "Empress Zhang Yifei is about to return, you'd better take a break for a while."

It has been proven that my guess was correct. The next day, a group of pearls was ordered to take the recently fever-free Princess Chengmin to the Wangu Jiangshan Hall, and shortly thereafter, the Empress's decree followed.

Since the last time we spoke at the entrance of Yikun Palace, although I have encountered him daily in the Dongnuan Pavilion over the past month or two, we have not exchanged a single word. Even when he greets me, it is merely a bow without any words. It seems he has been overly indulged by the Emperor, and when someone does not heed his words, he becomes irritable. Sometimes I can sense him watching me, but when our eyes meet, he immediately averts his gaze.

At the hour of the Pig, Princess Chengmin suddenly complained of unbearable abdominal pain. After I fed her two cups of hot water, she still felt uncomfortable. She immediately vomited all her dinner and then started to have a fever. Although this is a common case of childhood indigestion, because she lives in the presence of the Emperor, I still sent someone to inform the Emperor and asked him to come over. At the same time, I also sent someone to find the attending imperial physician.

I was just about to ask someone to invite the Emperor again when I heard the music from the Shengdong Chamber stop, followed by the Emperor's furious roar: "Your incessant entanglement, does it not trap me in injustice?" Then, there was a chorus of voices from the Shengdong Chamber pleading for forgiveness. I was speculating about what had happened in the Shengdong Chamber when the palace maid, Su Xue, joyfully ran to my side and said: "Your Highness... Your Highness, His Majesty is coming."

For example, even though the marital relationship between myself and the emperor has become a laughingstock, I still have to write a personal letter recommending myself to the emperor, despite our strained relationship.

Who in the harem is not aware, Princess Chengmin is the apple of the emperor's eye. The emperor doesn't even like his own sons, but favors Princess Chengmin the most.

Perhaps, Shang Baiwen is truly a gifted individual, which is why the emperor has bestowed upon him an extraordinary level of trust. He is even privy to conversations between the emperor and the concubines. He is truly a formidable man.

However, on second thought, although he previously used my handle to scare me, he never reported to the emperor, and I don't know why he advised me to stop.

I was surprised by Yue's words. I never thought she had such thoughts - that I am even more important to her than an emperor.

His smile made me forget my identity as a concubine, forget that we were in front of everyone, and forget that the emperor was right in front of me, and I should avoid suspicion no matter what.

I looked at the moon and was speechless for a moment. The emperor has always been unfeeling and indifferent towards the other concubines in the palace, sometimes even calling them by the wrong names. I used to think that it was because he cherished the moon too much and was too preoccupied with her to pay attention to others. But I also forgot that, no matter how much the emperor loves her, he still favored Yang Shuyi.

Otherwise, during the summer when there are not many people in the palace, it is the happiest time for me and Yue'er. There are not so many rules, nor any interference from serving in bed, almost free to do as we please.

Upon careful consideration, my relationship with the emperor over the past decade has not been good, and this is something that everyone in the harem knows. Moreover, after humiliating the empress, she immediately tried to win favor with the emperor by pushing me towards his bed, which was really unethical and disgusting to both me and Yue'er.

Even though Empress Zhang Yitai is unbridled in the harem, her relationship with the Shanggong Bureau and the Yetting Bureau is not good. The daily inventory of items entering and leaving the palace has always been managed by Yue'er. I am not afraid of her.

I was so amused by him that I retorted, "Why don't you tell me, how are the things sold by this palace?"

Brother Heng has countless things he has to do in his heart. Whether I truly understand it or not, I must understand it. Yue'er let out a long sigh, tracing the auspicious dragon pattern on the tablecloth with her fingers, and said helplessly, "Accompanying the king is like accompanying a tiger. For me, it's not that the king is as ruthless as a tiger, but that there are too many tigers and wolves surrounding him. Empress Xiao and Lady Yang, the mother of Prince Yi, want Brother Heng's life, isn't that the same as wanting mine?"

Hanqiu Hall and Shengdong Room are separated by two walls and a three-person-wide cobblestone road. Anxiously, I listened to the sound of silk and bamboo coming from Shengdong Room, thinking that even if the emperor didn't want to come, he shouldn't have to watch Yang Shuyi dance again. Although the music was pleasant to the ear, at this moment, I only felt that it was disturbing my mind and causing annoyance.

It's like a stubborn person suddenly becoming enlightened. This bookworm didn't realize he was attracted to women until he was twenty-five. I wanted to tease him, but the pain and discomfort stopped me. Fang Zhixuan finished speaking and then left the carriage, leaving only Suxue by my side to help me change the medicine.

Princess Chengmin is like half of my daughter; if she were to live such a life in the future, my heart would truly break

Shang Baiwen did not respond immediately, but instead remained silent and looked into my eyes, then said: "For example, that day when I picked it up."

I looked at the sky and slowly said: "I don't have any decent little name either; my parents and brother all call me Xiaoniang." Originally, my father gave me the given name "Siniang," as I am the fourth in line, so isn't it just Siniang?

The emperor was concerned about the illness of Princess Chengmin, and was already feeling upset. When he heard the empress scolding others at this time, his anger flared up and he slapped her, saying, "With such a situation, you still want to show off as the empress?" Then he turned to Fang Zhi Xuan, who was already frightened, and said, "Doctor Fang, go and check on the princess quickly."

As for Princess Chengmin, it is much easier to explain the matter of my embrace—children cannot bear sweet words, cannot distinguish between good and evil, and do not realize that I am not good to her

I let out a cold laugh, propping myself up with my hands on the bench as I stood up. My hands trembled slightly from the pain of the whipping, but that did not prevent me from snatching the whip from the hands of the executioner and swinging it towards the reddened face, saying: "Wretched maid."

I truly am overly sentimental. Having stayed in this palace for so long, whenever a healthy man speaks to me, I feel as if he genuinely cares for me. It seems I have overestimated myself and also overestimated Shang Baiwen.

Such a delay leaves me with no free time to manage my business. Unless the Emperor elevates me to the position of a first-rank consort, I will have some spare money.

Fang Zhixuan neatly put away her needle case and returned it to the medicine box: "However, Your Highness the Princess just now did not want even His Majesty, only you."

The high fever has slowed my thinking, and I can only ponder where this "lively perspective" originates, forgetting that Shang Baiwen is actively embracing me, and at this moment, we are intimately close. For some reason, although I am extremely uncomfortable due to the high fever, I secretly fantasize that if he and I were a pair of free-spirited heroes in the martial world, even if we were to live our lives under the court's wanted list, it would still be a joyous existence.

It turns out that it has come to this point, and Shang Baiwen still does not know my name. This King of Hell is just like that author of the story, lacking sincerity; he weaves a dream for me but does not even tell me the name of this role in the play.

The emperor truly does not understand the emotions of those of us who depend on him for our livelihood. Do I need him to care for me in this way? No, I do not. I only need him to continue to tacitly support my trafficking business, providing a protective umbrella for this endeavor that benefits both inside and outside the palace.

Furthermore, Shang Baiwen has always looked down upon my actions, believing that my dealings are beneath notice. Even if I could find every possible way to evade the emperor's watchful eyes and surveillance, it would still be impossible for him to compose a tragic love story with me. To have designs on him is no better than having designs on the emperor.

The disappointment in my heart is like a large stone thrown into a well, uncontrollably plummeting into my chest.

When Shang Baiwen saw me in a weak state, he had no strength to respond to him. He directly entered the carriage and held me in his arms, his hand gently touching my forehead: "Why do you have a fever? Those dog servants, one by one, are quick to run away like they have oil on their feet."

His eyes shone like stars in the night, illuminating my heart that had been silent for many years

"My lady, we are finished!" I had not yet grasped what Shang Baiwen meant when Fu Xiang walked over to the shoulder litter, tugged at my cloak, her voice filled with panic

As soon as I leaned out to take a look, I unexpectedly locked eyes with Shang Baiwen, who was surveying in our direction. I intended to avoid this awkward gaze, but Shang Baiwen showed no intention of looking away and continued to stare at me. Xi'er seemed to be quite fond of Shang Baiwen, waving at him incessantly, and only then did Shang Baiwen notice Xi'er's little head, smiling as he waved back at her

Little do I know, the name of Shang Baiwen seems to be my curse; at this moment, upon hearing someone mention him, I feel a sense of panic and confusion. I am still unaware of whether he has feelings for me, yet I have already fallen into an irretrievable state. If he were to find out, would he mock me?

Shang Baiwen glanced at the panicked Fu Xiang and then looked at me, saying: "Your Highness, if you are concerned about expenses, I am willing to offer you five hundred taels of silver each month. I understand that you are reluctant to easily part with this business, so I have already arranged with the Palace of the Imperial Concubines and a string of pearls. Each month, a string of pearls will replace my offering of silver to you."

As I was being escorted in my dilapidated carriage, Fang Zhixuan was ordered to bring my maid, Su Xue, to change my dressings. After waiting for a while, he seemed to seize an opportunity to approach me and asked, "Your Highness, who is the woman standing at the door when I went to treat the princess?"

How can I let go? That inlaid Huanghuali pure copper dressing mirror is still pressed in my hand, and I do not want to make a loss in this business. I am somewhat angry, and I can no longer afford to be shy. I turned my head and glared at him, saying: "After I let go, who will be responsible for my food, clothing, and expenses? Who will bear the burden of social interactions? Young Master Shang, what a fine suggestion you have, why not eat porridge instead?"

I still lack the strength to move, and even when I open my mouth, no sound comes out, likely because the heat has damaged my throat

The matter of changing residences has been settled, which also puts the Empress in a difficult position, as one who embodies maternal virtue for the world must share living quarters with a concubine.

Since the last time he picked up my belongings, my financial path has become fraught with difficulties, and I have been unable to find an outlet for my frustrations

Over the years, I have only read a few books. At this moment, I recall the verses of Tang Wan, and I finally understand her feelings. Perhaps I could be like the virtuous woman in Zhang Ji's poetry, receiving a pair of bright pearls from a good man I meet later. In that case, I could also say, "I return the bright pearls, tears streaming down, regretting that we did not meet before I was married." Unfortunately, I am left with only the desire to return the pearls, yet no one appreciates me, a twenty-six-year-old woman who is already past her prime.

Upon hearing the name Shang Baiwen, a certain string in my heart seemed to be plucked, and immediately, the handsome and unparalleled smile of Shang Baiwen appeared before my eyes. Indeed, this person has a tendency to deliberately make things difficult for me, but his face truly illuminated my heart in an instant

Perhaps the tears in her eyes are shed because the emperor did not punish the empress

I finally understand now, Shang Baiwen is not an ordinary person; he is like a walking coconut silk honey cake. My very life is almost being taken away by Shang Baiwen

He appeared quite surprised when he saw me walking out of the inner hall, with a hint of an emotion I could not comprehend. However, I was in such excruciating pain that I was nearly unable to muster the strength to kneel and receive the decree. It was still Su Xue and another palace maid who helped me kneel down. Any movement I made would trigger a wave of pain, causing me to break out in a cold sweat.

"Moon, you must not think this way." I sat opposite her and signaled to Fu Xiang and Wan Lu with my eyes, prompting them to close the windows and doors. Once they returned to our side, I spoke again, "As long as you can feel that His Majesty loves you, then you need not worry about me"

Your Highness, when you and Lady Hua were present, I was behind that screen in the Dongnuan Pavilion

Am I really so inadequate in his eyes

Do you want to talk to me? Shang Bai asked me for help, allowing my head to rest in the crook of his neck. My nose was filled with his scent, which was somewhat like the fragrance of begonia flowers and a bit like tea. He truly resembled the spirited young man from a story, but unfortunately, it is only in my illusions that I can be this close to him

How could I not know that the Empress had the intention to make Fang Zhixuan uncomfortable for my sake? However, Princess Chengmin truly fell ill while in my care. The Empress only needs to accurately gauge the Emperor's thoughts; wanting to demote or punish me is as easy as pie. I took the cool towel that Su Xue had twisted and wiped Princess Chengmin's palms and body, saying: "At present, the Princess is ill, and I am at fault first. Even if the Empress were to receive a slap from the Emperor, she still holds the upper hand in front of me"

"Xiao Niang, a beautiful name." After hearing this from Shang Baiwen, I lost consciousness again

I cannot selfishly take away her lover for the sake of my own survival

The people present were instantly plunged into embarrassment due to Princess Chengmin's "innocent remarks." I glanced back and forth between the Emperor, the Empress, and Yang Shuyi, unsure of how to feign a natural demeanor to break the awkward atmosphere. The Empress has always been petty and narrow-minded, and she must be secretly wondering whether I had taught Princess Chengmin such words.

The porcelain offered to the palace is all light and thin, and as the moonlight touches it, her fingers gently tap on it, producing a very pleasant sound. Her gaze is vacant, and her thoughts seem to have drifted far away: "I can share everything with you, truly, including my brother Heng. I know this is the queen's scheme to sow discord between us, I really know. Even without the queen, if brother Heng wants you, I would not be angry with you. Everything is brother Heng's intention, and it would be foolish of me to be angry with you." Even without the queen, if brother Heng wants you, I would not be angry with you. Everything is brother Heng's intention, and it would be foolish of me to be angry with you.

When Shang Baiwen heard my question, he seemed very pleased. He glanced down at me and smiled, saying, "It seems you are much better now, so I can rest assured." He then turned his gaze forward and continued, "You are injured so severely, I truly cannot feel at ease. I asked for leave from His Majesty, saying that I wanted to go cheerfully visit my sister Wanwan, and then I rode my horse slowly following behind you."

I gritted my teeth and raised my hand, only to find that my close-fitting clothes were already soaked with cold sweat, clinging tightly to my skin. There was not a single person around; it seemed that those escorting me had gone off to drink and feast. Perhaps they believed that I would not survive to reach the palace, deliberately delaying their return for a little longer, so that it would be more convenient to drag my corpse back to report.

"Your Highness, it seems that Young Master Shang Baiwen is outside." Su Xue helped me organize my clothes and glanced outside.

My gloom persisted until a group of people arrived at their destination. The emperor, as per tradition, resided in the Hall of Eternal Rivers and Mountains, while the empress was supposed to return to Caifang Isle, the place farthest from the emperor where she usually stayed. However, for the first time, she actually defied the imperial decree and advised the emperor that she and Yang Shuyi wished to stay with me.

At this moment, if I were to experience a hallucination, let it not be the final gift from the King of Hell, but rather allow me to fulfill a wish before I die

I sensed the queen's unabashed hostility as I smiled and pinched Princess Chengmin's chubby cheeks: "Xi'er is the most well-behaved, Mother loves you very much, and Concubine Shuyi likes you too." Princess Chengmin has always been quite astute, adept at reading the room, and her little mouth is full of auspicious words. However, for some reason today, she seemed intentionally unwilling to give the queen face.

For some reason, when I see the moon in this state, I am reminded of my mother, the Grand Princess of Lin'an. Before marrying my father, she had never seen him. My father, having achieved great feats in his youth, gained fame throughout the world, and thus received the marriage proposal from the Grand Emperor, the late Emperor Renzong, who bestowed his daughter, the Ninth Princess, upon him. It was only after marrying my father that my mother received the title of princess; however, after their marriage, she refused to reside in the General's residence and instead established the Princess's residence in her fief of Lin'an, where she lived for thirty-five years.

At this thought, a deep sense of frustration began to spread within my heart

Shang Baiwen seemed quite satisfied with my answer, nodding and straightening up. However, unlike before, he did not disregard the rules and look directly at my face; instead, his eyes were fixed on the ground. "Nowadays, you need to frequently accompany His Majesty at Qianren Palace. Is the timing for business matters still convenient for you?"

The sound of horns is cold, the night is dim. Afraid of being questioned, I swallow my tears and pretend to be joyful. Conceal, conceal, conceal

The pain once again dragged my consciousness into chaos. In a daze, I saw Su Xue get off the carriage, but I forgot to lower the curtain, and I actually had the illusion of Shang Baiwen getting on the carriage. I also heard him greet me, telling me that if I felt unwell, I should find his sister, the Princess of Yue. I thought to myself, if only I could have met Princess Shang Wanyuan earlier, then I would have had the chance to know him before entering the palace. After all, our families are well-matched, and perhaps the two families would hit it off, and I would already be Mrs. Shang.

"Please wait a moment, I will take you to the lively view." After saying this, Shang Baiwen jumped down from the carriage, and upon re-entering, he held a cloak in his hand. He wrapped me in the cloak and lifted me out of the carriage. After a flurry of neighing from the horses, I found myself in his arms, riding together with him.

The moon's eyes were always fixed on the teacup, her gaze wandering, lost in thought. She said blankly: "I have always known that many outsiders are particularly envious of me, that Brother Heng loves me the most. However, no one has ever known that my love for him has always been fraught with uncertainty."

Should I take all the valuable things I have and bribe the one who writes the script, so that with a wave of his hand, he can change the ending for me

Lost in thought, I fell into a deep sleep amidst the jolting of the carriage. When I awoke again, the carriage had come to a stop, and my entire body ached as if it had been pricked by needles. I wanted to force myself to sit up, but I couldn't even lift my hand.

He tightened his grip on my hand and said, "Fortunately, I followed you, otherwise..." He did not continue but changed the subject, asking, "What is your name?"

The emperor seemed to have a lingering fondness for Yang Shuyi's grace, and symbolically inquired about my opinion, thus agreeing to the requests of the empress and Yang Shuyi: "In that case, since Lady Yue also agrees, you may reside in the Shengdong Room next to the Hanchiu Pavilion."

According to custom, Yue'er stayed behind to accompany the Emperor in reviewing memorials and for lunch and dinner. I felt there was little need for my presence and thought to take my leave first. However, just as the Emperor had granted me permission to withdraw, he called me back: "Starting tomorrow, you will accompany Yue'er to Qianren Palace. Let those gossiping women see clearly that whoever Yue'er favors, I shall take care of."

Clearly, I have never had any intimate relations with the Emperor, yet after those conversations, I always feel a bit awkward when facing Yue'er. She truly regards the Emperor as half of her life; even if I genuinely have feelings for the Emperor, I would still maintain a distance.

The sincerity and dedication that the moon has for the emperor, the efforts she has invested, are something I could never achieve.

Just as I was about to speak, he suddenly interjected, "Your Highness, are you well?"

Shang Baiwen seemed to be waiting for me to lower the curtain of the carriage. Seeing that I had not responded for a long time, he pointed in the direction of the emperor's carriage. Only then did I awaken from my daze and lower the curtain, no longer looking at him

It must be said that Fang Zhixuan is still a bookworm; he has no idea that when it comes to the Empress's advice, nothing is as effective as saying something negative about those who mistreat Princess Chengmin, as the Emperor is likely to believe it immediately.

The beauty of utmost grace, like the flowing water. My voice remained soft, and he had to press his ear close to my lips to barely hear me.

How can I merely hide behind the moon and seek her protection? If one day there is a rift between the emperor and her, I will certainly spare no effort to ensure her safety.

The emperor and I exchanged a glance. I initially thought he would feel a bit awkward, but to my surprise, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes as he looked at me, as if he were waiting to see my embarrassment. This made me feel even more awkward.

"Xiao Xiao." The moon suddenly called my name, but her gaze remained fixed on the teacup in her hand. After I responded to her, she continued, "You need not worry. From the day I stepped into the palace, I understood that the emperor's heart is difficult to fathom, and I also know that he will always have lingering affections for other women, such as Yang Shuyi, who was once in the spotlight but is now forgotten by many."

The Emperor showed great consideration for Princess Chengmin, making an exception to allow me to ride in the carriage configured for the highest-ranking Zhaoyi of the second grade, following closely behind the Emperor and Empress's carriage, as we made our way from the Xihua Gate to outside the palace. Although this year neither Yue'er nor Concubine Li attended, Yang Shuyi was specifically summoned by the Empress to accompany her. Originally, Yang Shuyi was supposed to be ahead of me, but this time she was placed behind me, perhaps because the Emperor still does not favor Yang Shuyi and her domineering family.

After speaking, he wanted to embrace Princess Chengmin to play, but as a result, Princess Chengmin pushed with her small hand, distorting the Emperor's face: "Father, you are really annoying, I do not like them."

Princess Chengmin seemed to want her father, the emperor, but she didn't seem willing to let the emperor hold her. She struggled to find me, reaching out for me to hold her, saying, "Aunt, Aunt, Xier wants Aunt Xiaoxiao." The emperor looked at me somewhat awkwardly, then handed Princess Chengmin back to me.

I was taken aback, not knowing why he asked this question, and moreover, he interrupted me to ask it. Seeing his urgent demeanor, I carefully considered my words and replied: "I am doing well."

"Aunt Xiaoxiao, I think I just saw Uncle Shang," Xi'er suddenly raised her head from playing with the rattle drum in her hands and said this to me

At this moment, Fang Zhixuan entered the gate of Hanqiu Pavilion with his apprentice. The Empress saw him and scolded loudly, "Why did the Imperial Medical Institute come so slowly? I clearly saw you standing at the door of Hanqiu Pavilion for a long time. Why didn't you come in?"

I had just returned to the inner hall of the Hanqiu Pavilion after taking my medicine when the emperor's edict was conveyed to me, summoning me to the front hall to receive the decree. I truly did not want to get up, but I had no choice but to let Su Xue support me as I stumbled my way to the front hall. It was only then that I realized the one delivering the edict was Shang Baiwen

Had I known that today would unfold in such a manner, I would have preferred to spend my life in seclusion within the palace of Luan Yi. My connection with Shang Baiwen, though fated, is ultimately unfulfilled, and that is the greatest punishment for me

I have just arrived at the summer palace for a day, and I have not even stepped out of the door of the Hanchiu Pavilion. How could I know who is standing at the entrance? Moreover, I am currently suffering from unbearable pain and itching on my back, leaving me little energy to contemplate who this woman might be

I was demoted to the rank of a ninth-grade wardrobe attendant and received a hundred lashes.

My Yue, she was once a pampered girl at home, but she lives such a hard life in the deep palace. To be honest, half of my peace in the palace during these ten years is thanks to her care.

The next time I saw Shang Baiwen was when I was leaving Qianren Palace

Ever since the emperor issued a decree for me to stand in Qianren Palace every day to serve him tea and water, my days have become busy. I am reluctant to give up on making money, so I have asked Fu Xiang to stay in Luan Yi Palace to help me manage things. Every day, I enter and exit with another palace maid, Su Xue. Day by day, time flows by quickly, and before I know it, it is June. According to the usual practice, every June, the emperor takes the women of the harem to the summer palace for one or two months, returning to the palace only when the weather turns cooler. At the end of May, the list of concubines allowed to accompany him this year was released. In fact, in previous years, my name was hardly ever on it. Occasionally, I was allowed to go along a few times, but those were instances when Yue Er could not refuse the emperor and insisted on going to the summer palace, and only then was I called to accompany her.

Not only Fang Zhixuan, but it is feared that everyone present, except for the Empress and Rouhong, is witnessing the Emperor slap the Empress for the first time. The rumors are indeed not false; the relationship between the Emperor and Empress has deteriorated to such an extent that even in front of numerous palace attendants, the Emperor does not conceal his disdain and indifference towards the Empress

I smiled as I helped her tuck her loose hair behind her ears, reassuring her, "When soldiers come, we will block them; when water comes, we will cover it with earth. Rest assured, as long as I truly do not wish to, even for the sake of the esteemed elder, the emperor cannot force me."

That's all. Now that I can have such a dream, it can be considered as heaven's grace towards me, a woman of a certain age, allowing me to leave in peace

Xi Er is truly candid. The Empress probably felt that she had been embarrassed by a child, and without waiting for me to intervene, she managed to smooth things over herself. Alternatively, she might genuinely dislike Princess Chengmin, but considering that she is the Emperor's favorite daughter, she could only suppress her anger and force a smile.

I do not know why, but I have some doubts that I have been blinded by desire; otherwise, why is it that even though Shang Baiwen currently holds leverage over me, I am still irresistibly drawn to him by the gaze of his eyes? There may still be countless men in the world who are more handsome than him, yet only Shang Baiwen's every move can effortlessly capture my attention. When I see him, I cannot control myself, and I cannot help but focus on him. There may still be countless men in the world who are more handsome than him, yet only Shang Baiwen's every move can effortlessly capture my attention. When I see him, I cannot control myself, and I cannot help but focus on him

I glanced back at the queen, and by chance, our eyes met. Her gaze was numb, yet there was a hint of hatred. These two somewhat contradictory emotions appeared simultaneously, leading me to feel that her unwavering endurance towards the emperor might be deliberate and purposeful. However, Princess Chengmin was still unwell, and I truly had no time to continue pondering the queen's thoughts, so I hurriedly brought the others and Fang Zhixuan into the inner hall of Hanqiu Pavilion.

Even someone who is not directly involved can see that she intends to use the Emperor to sow discord between me and Yue'er

"Change your clothes, Yue, and neglect the imperial heir no longer. You have deeply betrayed my grace. Immediately revoke your qualifications for accompanying me during the summer retreat, and return to the palace for confinement without bringing along your attendants or maidservants. Depart at once."

Yang Shuyi is also a decisive person. On the night she moved into the Shengdong Chamber, she danced a dance that had been brought over from the Western Regions in the courtyard, leaving the Emperor behind. Being young is wonderful; with just a beckoning finger, men will willingly come closer.

Fang Zhixuan was even more pleased to learn that I did not know the identity of that woman: "Not knowing is actually a good thing. Your Highness, since you do not recognize her, it indicates that she is neither a consort nor a princess. If I encounter her in the palace in the future, I will certainly inquire about her name, and at that time, I would ask Your Highness to request her from her master.

"Selling those things is ultimately not good, Your Highness. " Shang Baiwen raised his head, and after sensing his gaze, I turned to meet his eyes. His expression was more sincere than ever before; perhaps he truly wanted to persuade me. However, he looked down on me.

Although my father was literate, he came from a military background and was a rough man, lacking any leisure or artistic inclination. He casually gave me a name. My mother thought this was inappropriate and named me "Xiao Niang." However, after a few years, when I started school and my formal name was announced, no one called me Xiao Niang anymore

Princess Chengmin pouted her small lips and turned her face to one side. However, the hands that had originally rejected her father's embrace were now tightly holding onto him.

My feelings of frustration persisted until I was seated in the shoulder sedan passing by Yikun Palace, where I encountered Shang Baiwen, who was coming from Cheng'an Gate and intended to cross the Imperial Garden to leave the palace. It was only when his slightly infuriating handsome face appeared before me that I suddenly realized that since the day I met him, he seemed to be everywhere. It seemed that whenever I had even the slightest negative emotion, he would appear.

When Shang Baiwen heard my unfriendly tone, he immediately raised his head to look at me. To my surprise, there was a hint of shame and guilt in his expression. His gaze swept downward, and with his hands clenched into fists, he adopted a very solemn attitude: "I, your humble servant, have committed an offense, causing distress to Your Highness the Consort. I humbly beg for Your Highness's forgiveness."

If Shang Bai were to speak with cold sarcasm, I would certainly retort in kind; however, his attitude has left me at a loss. He unexpectedly confessed, catching me off guard. Upon reflection, I realize that I was the one who violated the palace rules first, and both in terms of reason and sentiment, his admonitions are indeed correct. Moreover, he is under no obligation to offer such counsel. If he were to report to the Emperor about something I carelessly left behind, I could immediately be branded with the charge of 'disorder in the harem'.

In fact, the one who is clearly at fault is me

As the moon did not arrive, this time I brought Princess Chengmin to reside in Hanjium Hall, which is located next to the Wangu Jiangshan Hall, the residence of the attendants accompanying the moon.

Actually, I want to ask him, is he really Shang Baiwen? Or is this moment just a dream of mine, an illusion?

Yue'er stood up, walked in front of me, and took my hand, saying: "The Empress is truly audacious. Knowing that I cannot bear to see you deeply involved in the struggles of the harem, she still insists on pushing you into this fire pit. This is truly too much to bear." Yue'er seemed on the verge of tears again, but she held it back, taking a deep breath to suppress her intense emotions. Her voice remained trembling, "I have no complaints about her targeting me and Brother Heng; originally, the greatest conflict of interest in this palace was between me and Brother Heng. But why must you be dragged into this as well?"

Then again, I shall keep my restless heart to myself. If I were to become infatuated, this ridiculous story would be passed down through history, and future generations would mock me. Such a situation, where the emperor's courtyard is ablaze and a concubine harbors unrequited love, is truly absurd. I fear that when people discuss my parents and brothers in the future, they will not refer to them as valiant generals, immensely noble princesses, or worthy scions of the family, but rather as "relatives of the sinful concubine, the Yue family"

Shang Baiwen's mood seemed to improve, as he rode and laughed aloud, saying: "How could I not know your name? I wanted to ask, do you have a courtesy name, that is, a name used in the inner chambers?"

"Greetings to Her Highness, the Empress. " Before performing the bow, Shang Baiwen glanced at me, likely realizing my displeased expression, and immediately lowered his head, displaying an unprecedented level of respect

Princess Chengmin's little face turned red due to high fever. In a daze, she heard her father, the emperor, had arrived and barely opened her eyes to ask me, "Aunt Xiaoxiao, has my father come?" Such a way of addressing the emperor may have been taught to her by Yue'er in private, but hearing her call him "father" broke my heart. To have such a lovely child entrusted to my care, yet I allowed her to suffer like this.

From this point on, the two individuals completely separated.

He and I are suitable for each other in every way, but unfortunately, we met too late

How could he really use this thing to threaten me

Since we are all in a dream, I might as well muster the courage to try and see if I can speak: "... ... you ... ... what brings you here?"

"Your Highness, are you well?" I strained to open my eyes wide to see who was speaking, but when I finally saw the face of the visitor, my heart instantly sank.

However, I am fully aware that Yue'er is different from my mother; she truly loves the Emperor. I do not know whether I should tell her not to worry about my feelings. I am not concerned about anything else; I only fear that I might affect her relationship with the Emperor. If she no longer admires the Emperor, given her temperament and the fact that she has three children, she might end up as pitiful as my mother in the future

Although my mother is a princess, she does not even have a name; throughout her life, she has been called "A Jiu" by my grandmother, Empress Dowager Chun Guang, and my father

Su Xue had probably run all the way from the Winter Room, and after speaking, she was still panting. As I walked into the Hanqiu Pavilion, I suggested that she go and have a glass of water to rest for a moment.

After the queen awkwardly smiled at the emperor, she shot me a fierce glare, confirming my suspicion

It is truly a sin

The surrounding noise gradually quieted down, and even time seemed to come to a standstill. I held Xi'er in my arms and exchanged a silent gaze with Shang Baiwen. His smile was truly beautiful, as if a warm spring breeze had blown into my heart. Shang Baiwen's smiling face resembled a coconut sugar cake made by a master pastry chef from Yangzhou, sweet and slowly seeping from my eyes into my heart

As I looked at him with sincere expression, I suddenly felt as if I were facing a stranger

The heart of the ruler is difficult to fathom, which is most evident for the group of women in the harem who vie for beauty and favor.

Upon hearing this, the moon smiled through her tears and said, "Then I can rest assured, for I truly do not wish for you to suffer grievances in this cannibalistic palace."

"Your Highness, I fear that this time the Empress intends to catch you off guard." As Fang Zhixuan administered acupuncture to Xier, he instructed the apprentice to prepare medicine in the Bisha cabinet. The inner chamber was filled with people I had brought from the Luan Yi Palace, and without concern for eavesdroppers, Fang Zhixuan directly discussed the matter of the Empress with me.

I did not ask anyone for help, but instead walked back and forth in the courtyard of Hanqiu Pavilion, holding Princess Chengmin in my arms, gently patting her back, hoping to make her feel more comfortable

The blessing from Young Master Shang, I truly feel unworthy of it I am still in a fit of anger and do not intend to show any good grace to Shang Bai. He is not my lover, and since I am so unfortunate, naturally all the blame will fall on him.

I find myself at a loss on how to face the moon, nor do I know how to comfort her. In her own Chengqian Palace, her days are not easy either. Every person surrounding her has their own agenda. She must remain vigilant, unable to find peace throughout the night. She, her family, her lover, her three children, and I—every person she wishes to protect, she will do her utmost to safeguard.

In order to take revenge on me, the queen had me strip off my outer garments and subjected me to a hundred lashes in front of the main entrance of the Hanqiu Pavilion. I lay on the bench enduring the punishment, while Rouqing watched the entire process with feigned sympathy, saying, "Your Highness, you have truly suffered; I feel so sorry for you."

Thinking of the trinket that I had only recently found the opportunity to deliver to the duchess, my heart skipped a beat

In the depths of the palace for ten years, no man has ever cared for me in this way. This care is different from that which Yue'er has shown me; Yue'er’s concern is shared with the Emperor, and some of it is also divided among her children with the Emperor. Yet at this moment, the Shang Baiwen who exists in my illusion belongs solely to me.

As soon as I saw the Empress finding a way to back down, I quickly echoed her words, hoping to pass over the topic. If they want to give birth to winter rooms, let them be; in any case, I have no desire to vie for favor. The Emperor is not some unyielding figure like Liu Xiahui; with Yue'er not around, I have no say in whom he chooses to favor, not even the Empress has any authority over that.

No one knows that I, with the Eight Prince Zhao in mind, was first framed by the Empress for the execution of my kitchen chef, and then the new chef was bribed to drug me. At this point, Yue'er spoke with tears welling in her eyes, and she sighed deeply, saying, "The Empress did not intend to abort the child in my womb; she wanted my life directly"

"Xiao Xiao." Yue Er suddenly lowered her voice, squeezed my hand tightly, and said to me, "I know very well that you do not like Brother Hang, and you even somewhat dislike him." I did not expect Yue Er to speak so directly, and I was somewhat astonished, unsure of how to respond.

When the Emperor Emeritus was in power, her father asked her to accompany the army, but she resolutely refused, as she believed that only the residence of the Grand Princess was her ultimate home. Her father asked her whether the title of the Grand Princess was more important than others, more important than marriage. My mother replied, yes

If the emperor had seen through it, I would not have been surprised at all; however, I did not expect that Yue'er had also seen through it.

If I were to be written into a script, I would undoubtedly be the most tragic character among all the dan roles. The story of my life has always been unrelated to romantic entanglements. After running a business, I was exposed by a man I liked and was forced to go underground. I devoted myself to raising a child, only to be caught by my enemies and dealt a severe blow, which now brings me closer to the gates of hell.

A sudden gust of wind swept by, lifting the curtain of the carriage. The scorching wind of summer blew against me, and I found myself shivering uncontrollably

Watching the moon take off her cloak and hand it to Wan Lu, then leisurely sit down to pour two cups of tea, I simply gazed at her, remaining motionless all the while

It is only today that I have come to know the truth of this matter. The Emperor at that time ordered the entire Changqian Palace to keep silent, even sending away all the low-ranking palace maids and eunuchs, all to cover up the truth. Externally, it was uniformly claimed that the chef was acting under orders, and then the matter was left unresolved. However, since then, Yue'er has consistently opposed the Empress openly and even seized the Empress's authority to assist in managing the six palaces.

How did you come to know? Just now, when I was in the East Warm Pavilion, I clearly did not see him